Hey Monday Lovers!
So there's been something on my mind lately, and it's come up after meeting with so many couples leading up to their day. The issue I see over and over again with the planning process is that too many couples are not taking the time they deserve to really take care of themselves and their relationship.
The planning process is stressful, hard, and drains you mentally and sometimes financially. So it's important to show each other that you care, not only about the process but about each other. I'll leave my tips on how to help each other through the process for a different post, because this week I really want to focus on ways to strengthen your relationship.
1. Take 2 days off a week where you DO NOT talk about anything to do with the wedding!
Seriously, you can't talk about how your cousin is bringing a random date, or how one of your bridesmaids can't come to your bachelorette party. You need to block it out of your mind, and go back to focusing on how your relationship was pre-wedding.
2. Date night!
Whether you can afford to do something once a week, every other, or even just once a month. You need to reconnect, get dressed up and head out for drinks, dinner, and/or a movie. Just remember to keep the wedding talk to a minimum and remind yourselves how it used to be when you first started dating.
Something silly that I've actually grown to love is when my husband after 12 years of being together, pretends like we're on a first date. It's not as suave as in the movies where you're at the bar and he walks up to you and offers to buy you a drink. No, it usually starts off with "So what do you do?" I can't help but giggle, but I love to play along because we get to be goofy and remind each other that we need to talk about ourselves and our lives as if the other isn't in the know all the time. It's also pretty entertaining to see people, servers included, ease dropping on your conversation, hoping to figure out how the "first" date is going.
3. Taking care of yourself
This one is huge! Please, take a day to pamper yourself at least once a week. Whether it's getting your nails or hair done, going for a walk, getting a massage, going to a yoga class, grabbing some Starbucks on your Target run (my fav), or simply to stay in to binge watch a show with a glass (or bottle) of wine. Whatever it is that helps you unwind and recenter yourself, do it! It's so important to take care of YOU, so that you can be a better person for your partner. Everyone needs "me" time, and this should be something that you adopt for the rest of your life. A healthy marriage starts with a healthy relationship with yourself.
4. Take a load off!
Delegate! Do not even think about trying to do this all on your own. You will lose your mind, and start to resent your family and friends, or worse your partner, because they "just don't understand what you're going through." Your wedding party, and family typically want to help you throughout the process, so start to ask for it. You don't have to be afraid of turning into a "Bridezilla," if the list is reasonable. Some things to have your them do...
A. Help stuff envelopes-get that assembly line going!
B. Put together centerpieces-Label each table separately, so it's easier day of
C. Organize decorations- Because all those months of hitting up flea markets, and Hobby Lobby, add up to a hodgepodge of boxes and bags.
D. Put together favors-it's repetitive and should go fairly quickly
E. Ask your most organized family member or bridesmaid to be the point person for information. Even if you have a wedding planner, things come up throughout your day, and you don't want to constantly have people hounding you for information. Pick someone that can handle the added stress with ease.
5. Just be there for each other
Even if you don't care what color your napkins are, or what the font is on your invitations, act like you do. It's hard to put all of this on your partner, and it's weird how all those little things start to really mean something. There will be tears shed over the silliest things, so just be there for one another, and remind each other that it's all going to come together.
So lovers, stay sane, stay in love, and don't forget at the end of the day it's about the two of you getting married. Everything else is just part of the celebration.